[News.com] A MOTHER made her child sit in public with a sign pinned to his shirt that said: “Do not trust me. I will steal from you as I am a thief.” The boy, thought to be aged about 10, was also wearing Shrek ears and writing lines in what appeared to a form of public punishment, according to dozens of witnesses who contacted the Townsville Bulletin. The boy spent almost an hour on Sunday near a popular waterpark in Townsville while his family ate lunch nearby. Diane Mayers was so “horrified” when she saw the boy she contacted Child Safety Services to intervene. Ms Mayers, who worked with the department in the past, said any long-term effects of public humiliation would have been much worse than physical abuse. “The boy just kept his head down and was staring at the ground,” she said. “The parents had gone to all the trouble of printing two copies of the sign – one for the back and one for the front – and laminating them. A lot of work had gone in to it. “A lot of people walked past and were laughing at him, including boys who would have been his age. “At one point the boy had taken off the Shrek ears. My daughter walked past and heard the mother say, ‘Put them back on or I’ll smack your head in’.”
I’m sorry, what was that, Ms. Mayers from Child Safety Services? Your recommended form of discipline is a belt across the butt cheeks as opposed to walking around like an animated character with a sign detailing the kid’s wrongdoings? Find me a 10 year-old that’d give a thumbs-up to a beating over Halloween. Don’t get me wrong, this boy will undoubtedly be responsible for strapping his mom to a table in the basement and surgically replacing her ears with Shrek’s – but I’m pretty sure it’s selfless in comparison to smacking him around on the regular so he eventually kills himself. And not only is she inevitably sacrificing her own life in front of her son’s, but she’s also protecting the public. “Hey everybody, my kid’s got sticky fingers so keep your bags close while the rest of our family enjoys a nice lunch.”
I know if I’m on the subway with Scrody, I do my best to warn all the females to keep their tits guarded because Mr. Mugs n’ Jugs is hand-happy. Sure, he’s embarrassed after my announcement but subway sluts with big cans are people, not willing Tune In Tokyo participants. And not only am I helping them maintain fingerprint-free funbags, I’m also ensuring Scrody stays married. He’s the one with the problem, so he deserves the humiliation while I get a good chuckle & have a sweet icebreaker for the puppies I’m protecting. Broads are safe, his wife is happy – everybody wins. Kicking his ass just puts me in jail, costs me a blogger & enrages him. The next voluptuous victim doesn’t stand a chance.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that Shrek ears are what keep boobies safe, not violence. Follow?
